The first few drops in the ocean --- Part III

Thank you for coming back to read another year in my life. By now, you would have figured out my thought process and methodology of doing things. I knew I had to achieve something, something big, something that people couldn't imagine was possible. I knew I was meant for something big, but I didn't know what. I wanted to be successful on all scales, something like an all-rounder. I was looking at fame and success in this year. You'll get to know what I actually achieved. I guess all-rounders are amazing at all the fields they touch, and the popularity they had, was what I was actually after. I was still worried about how society saw me, and I didn't want to look bad in front of them. So, I tried to use all opportunities I got to get famous and successful, and shed the stereotype that was prevalent about me, both outside and inside my social circles. I had, in the words of Warren Buffett, an 'Outer Scorecard'. Lets get back to where I left off last time, and lets take a peak into my 3rd year, my 11th standard, a year turned out to be completely unpredictable, and..........

Year III: 11th standard (2011-12)
This is for all 11th graders and below to read (actually a mustread!!). If you don't qualify, then you can still read and you could probably enjoy comparing your 11th grade experiences with mine!! If this is the first post that you're reading on my blog, I suggested that you read my previous posts to decide on whether you would want to continue reading future posts.

This year, I thought, was gonna be my year. Infact, I was under the impression that both 11th and 12th were gonna be the dragon years of my life. Dragon, because I thought that I was gonna become popular and successful and people were gonna take notice of me. I had armed myself with some good talent and skills, and anyways had a trump card,my academics. It was common understanding, that these 2 years were gonna be mostly about studies, with the JEE being just 2 years away. So, the harder you studied, the better your marks, and more your popularity. It sounded amazing to be called a topper, and everyone looking up to you like a celebrity. People would try to be close to you, help you in all possible ways, all in  exchange for your help in studies at any hour of the day. It sounded like fun for me, and I knew this was a ticket to the elite class - a group of people who were popular and successful all-rounders or amazingly good at their field. I wanted to be there and I knew what I had to do.

11th, I thought, wouldn't have any problems, atleast for a guy like me. The good thing was there would be no problem about classes. I would be in the Computer science section, which means a load of good guys would be there. Well, atleast they would be nice guys. There would be no worries of getting bullied, and there were very few students in each class (there were only 24 in my class).And the class would be together for 2 years. That meant I would make better friends with better guys. Well, only some become your true friends, others are just classmates you get to know very well. I will explain that sentence sometime later. In any case, they were gonna be good classmates, with whom its easier to share worries, discuss ideas and even celebrate. 11th, I thought, was gonna be kickass.

The first 4 months, were actually very good for me. I actually loved going to school everyday and meeting these guys. I was pretty surprised by this fact. I was making friends with people who had known me for me a long time, but of whom I had never even heard of. It was nice to get this attention, and be given priority over others. A general hierarchy was forming even before I knew it was, and I was on the top rung. This is what I loved and wanted so much. And with each day, it only got better. I started chatting about lots of things, and I was able to get the attention of everyone in and even some outside class. I could attract a small circle of people whenever I talked about something, anything. 

In those months, studies went on an upbeat. I was acing every test and was virtually unbeatable. I was much better than the guys in my class, and they were no competition at all. Even in comparison to other classes, I was like a virtual topper. People I met in the corridors of the senior block, started calling me a 'topper'. I liked that a lot, and could never stop blushing, whenever they said that. Of course, the title got irritating very soon, but atleast they acknowledged me for my dedication and hard work. At my coaching institute, I wasn't a topper, though I should have been, considering my entrance test rank. Nevertheless, my performance was pretty decent over there. In my first 3 tests, I was able to get 45% plus and a rank in the top 100. I was considered a better student, with better chances of getting into IIT. Most people were finding it tough to get marks at all in the tests. In any case, things change with one clap of the hands, so never think you can sustain your performance without continuous effort. I'll come to that later. 

My schoolmates and teachers got continuous input about who was doing well and who didn't stand a chance, in the coaching institutes. They now realized that I could be IIT material, and started giving more liberty and freedom in school, besides being partial to me on many occasions. They started including me in whatever they did. One example was football. They started including me in their games and made me the captain on several occasions. I was getting better at goalkeeping, but neither was I amazing. But to the best footballers in our class, giving more importance, was like associating themselves as good friends of mine. These guys were seen as having more precedence when it came to asking for help. They started asking bigger favours, which were going out of hand. Another example was food. If I helped someone with homework or taught something to someone, then I was entitled to have a good share of the food they brought to school. So if my lunchbox wasn't exciting, then I could go to any of my 'friends' and take some of their lunch. I didn't have to suffer the bruises that came when everyone fought over some guy's paneer or channa masala or chicken. Those times were fun and my memory of people chasing the birthday boy to give him resounding birthday bumps is still very much alive in my mind.

Teachers now had a bigger goal that they wanted to achieve........it wasn't about getting more CBSE toppers..........it was about getting more guys into IIT. This sort of achievement would further swell the popularity and the pride of the school, besides allowing the management to increase fees exponentially. It was like a domino effect.........more IITians from our school, more people would want to put their children in our school, and more would be the fees collected. With continuous working up, there would be more IITians, and the cycle would continue. Also, the school was pretty pumped up about the results for the last 2 years, as we had sent a couple of guys to the IITs and foreign universities like NUS, NTU, Purdue, GeorgiaTech etc. They wanted to maintain the same impression with our batch, so they tried their level best to keep us going. They had integrated coaching for the JEE, with another institute's teachers coming and teaching the JEE syllabus. Just going off the record, going for integrated coaching in your school is a bad idea. 

• Because studying with your friends means you know their capabilties, and if your the best guy in the class, then you'll realize that there is no competition. Automatically, the efforts you put in will also come down and there will be a subsequent degradation in your scores.
• When you know that many guys in your class are your friends, the mood of seriousness is lost. People start chatting and walking around the class at random times, and there is no competitive spirit that can be a real driving factor for IIT aspirants. 
• The teacher loses precious time and energy trying to keep the class quiet and to grab their attention again is a mindboggling task. So lesser is learnt, and slowly, the students, and many times teachers themselves, start bunking classes.

These factors are enough to kill your dreams and aspirations. Even a distance learning program is not preferred. DLPs should be taken only if your preparation is done (you have completed your coaching institute modules and are looking for more material to read). That usually never happens unless your top 1500 ranker material. Even in those cases, it is not a good idea to read more material. Instead you should be solving problems in time. Take All India Test Series (AITS) for such practice. There are several books from which self tests can be taken (I will talk about them in future posts). Usually a coaching institute's practice problems are plentiful in number, and there are reference books in the library which will be really useful for the final 6 months. Anyways, I still prefer a classroom program, probably at the institute's center itself, which is what I did. The more distance you travel, the more the determination to achieve and greater is the drive to succeed. That's my opinion and it may vary from person to person. I seemed to be headed for the engineer's Valhala, and my teachers didn't want me to lose track. So they tried to help me in any way possible and thank all my teachers for believing in me during those 2 years. They included me in any interhouse competition that was going on, and even made me an environmental secretary for the school (this was the second successive year I had been included in the school council). My 'friends' liked to tag along with me, just so that they might pick up some big things or some excellent logic from me, which is a very bullshit notion. Don't think you are lesser than anyone, especially if that someone happens to top in some practice tests. The real JEE can make institute ranks look like chicken fodder, and I realized that I beat a lot of guys, who used to consistently beat me in the institute practice tests, by a huge margin in the real exams.

After those months, things took a sudden U-turn. I realized that my 'friends', barring a few nice guys, just were temporary guys. They liked to tag along, and while you're successful, they like to be seen in your company. When you go down, everyone behaves as though they have never heard your name. I had a downturn in fortunes in my school and institute studies. The reason was that I started taking the results to my head. I thought I just needed to study for a couple of hours before the test for a good rank in the practice tests. So I studied lesser and lowered my level of preparation. The results were obvious, still I continued going down the slope. My 'friends' turned their backs on me, all of a sudden. They stopped listening to me, or helping me in small ways. If I was going through bad phases, they didn't want to associate themselves with me. The food and football stopped, and they suddenly started the stereotyping. Things started going from bad to worse. The quality of the class degraded very badly. 3 guys tried to run away from home and 2 got into smoking, drinking and drugs. People started playing games and watching bad videos on their mobiles or iPads while classes went on. Teachers were unable to control us, because we were placed in a completely different corner of the school. Class performance was at an all time low, and teachers were complaining. There were incidents which I was shocked to see happen right in front of me. Once, a couple of guys took another guy's lunchbox and kept it on a street. They got a rabid dog to spit into the box. They then took the box and kept it in the front most desk of the classroom. They threw the chalks and duster into the box and closed the lid of the desk. When the teacher entered the class next day, she couldn't find the duster and asked for it. Some guy said it may be in the front desk. The level of disgust I felt when she picked up the duster and wiped off the food and spit was too much to bear and I banged a desk like mad to control my anger. Another time, we were in the lab and doing a physics experiment. When the teacher wasn't looking, those same guys mixed copper sulphate in the teacher's tea. Later they got so scared, that they forced everyone to sign an agreement saying that if anything were to happen to the teacher, no one would play the blame game. I never signed it. Luckily, nothing has happened to the teacher, and ever since, the copper sulphate bottle has been labelled 'blue jelly'!!! Other incidents involved insulting teachers in private circles, dabbing paint in large amounts on innocent students, throwing banana peels & wrappers at the fans, ripping each others pockets and blowing flames of fire using deodorants. During a pocket ripping exercise, one guy ripped another guy's pant pocket so hard, his entire pant tore off! With great difficulty, we got him to the clothes shop to get a new pant. Once, the teacher asked me to take a class on mathematical reasoning. I used this opportunity to showcase my public speaking and teaching skills and got an applause at the end for it. However, my methods of controlling the class and getting some guys to answer specific questions (which they couldn't) made the bad gang unhappy. So at the end of the class, after the teacher had left, they came to shake hands with me. Then they took out a flame igniter and a deodorant and tried to put it directly in my face. My reflexes were fast so I dodged it and ran out. The next teacher came in, so I was saved. In any case, the point is that everyone was going mad trying to study so much, as the size of the 11th syllabus was 400% more than our 10th. Even a good student can degrade in the company of bad guys, and I was going down that path. My results were evidence for the degradation. When my ship finally steadied, I decided in being careful about deciding who my real friends were.

It was getting tougher to concentrate, to be optimistic, to be determined, to be happy, and easier to be depressed, unhappy, frustrated, tired,lazy. Even I started losing interest in what was being taught in class. I didn't like to sit in class anymore, and ran out of the class whenever I got the opportunity. At home, I felt so sleepy or only wanted to watch movies. Just getting up everyday to go to class was an enormous achievement. I felt guilty for not studying, but trying to balance school and JEE studies was getting to me. I wasn't being able to score very well in any of them and pressure was building from all sides: school, institute and home. I was being given everything I needed, yet I was unable to get an amazing result. I managed a 88% in the first term and 84% in the second at school: much better than others but horrible overall. At coaching, I was at 40% on average at the end, but in one test I sunk to as low as 22%. The variance was unsettling. My parents started telling me that I had to put in more effort, yet I couldn't do so. I started complaining about things like low light in the mornings, cold days and small illnesses. I started making excuses to get out of tight corners. My teachers and parents couldn't explain what was happening, they all just hoped for things to become better. The ill feelings of my classmates was permeating through me and was dimming out the day. The weather became cold and the sun refused to come out. I was waiting for the sun to come out, but I didn't know it was gonna take so long. I continued my struggle, because I knew I couldn't rest if I wanted to get into IIT. IIT was becoming the subject of discussion wherever I went, and whether I liked it or not, I had to answer questions.

I had to overly depend on coaching institute materials and teachers for help, both for the JEE and CBSE. Not all teachers were good at school, so studying CBSE was a problem. Plus the teachers for 11th and 12th were the same, and they concentrated more on 12th syllabus. So trying to practically understand what was going on in a subject wasn't possible. Teachers didn't pay much attention to us in 11th because 11th was like an internal thing, no one cared for the marks, unless they were applying for foreign universities. That also could be changed with a little persuasion from the concerned students. Frankly speaking, school wasn't even necessary in 11th and 12th, except for particular subjects like maths, because some teachers didn't even know the subject they taught. There are bad teachers in every school, because there is a dearth of teachers. Good teachers run away to caching institutes for higher pay. Hence schools are forced to pick bad teachers to avoid stressed up and jam packed timetables for existing teachers. Same was the problem for us. We were being forced to eat fodder by such bad teachers. They didn't know anything themselves. They never knew their own subject, yet they demanded the respect of teachers. They were good counsellors for mental relaxation, but they didn't know how to teach. In one particular subject, the teacher never bothered to read her subject. She came to class and tried to teach and used to forget half the things she had to teach, because she didn't know her subject at all. The funniest part is, she expected me to save her! Whenever she couldn't give an answer to a question, she waited for me think about the solution and as soon as I got it, she would expect me to tell the answer and would simply say "And that's what I was trying to say......" . I was expected to find the solution to all tough problems and questions. Then she'd make me do it on the board, or just read off my notes. Once, she came totally unprepared for the class and she didn't know what to do. So she decide to blast us for getting some pathetic marks in the last test, that too for 1 hour!!!! One specific time, she gave us a worksheet that was prepared by HER COLLEAGUE. A group of girls had a doubt in the worksheet and approached for help. She didn't know how to solve it!!!!. She got lucky, because I happened to be standing there, chatting to some guys. She asked me to solve it, and it took me less than 10 seconds to figure out what the solution was. After that episode, any doubt the girls had, they always came to me. The entire class considered me to be the de-facto teacher for that subject, and any doubt was asked to me first. No one asked doubts in class, except me, and that was only because I wanted to see the answer she had to give on this concept (I already knew the answer to my doubts!!!!). I enjoyed this respect, both from the teacher and the class. In return, the teacher marked me leniently in tests and tried to defend my actions or marks if they ever went bad. It was a symbiotic relation with such teachers and I still miss those funny moments in class, when no one could resist laughing but everybody was forced to shut up. 

So I used my coaching institute knowledge as a cripple for both the JEE and CBSE. That was a major disadvantage when it came to writing subjective answers in the CBSE papers. Writing a proper answer is considered a completely different thing from knowing the final answer, which meant that separate preparation was required for the JEE and CBSE. That was not good news, and the result reflected from both sides of the table. It was definitely not enough for both. I liked coaching a lot. I found answers to very thought provoking questions from there. It allowed me to explore and understand a lot of ideas and concepts that were out of the box. Going to coaching gave me a meaning to life in that year. That's why I ran home from school, quickly had lunch, and raced off to the coaching center, which was 7 KM away from home. All this was done at an hour's notice. We had coaching everyday from 5:30 to 8:30, but I used to be outside the house for coaching for almost 5 hours a day, excluding the 7 hours at school. I still can't believe that I once had the energy to go through all that!!! This won't be a great thing for all the high rankers, but 20 or maybe 30 years later when you look at what you did to beat the competitive exams, you will feel amazed and proud by your dedication and hard work. Of course, we had monthly tests, and these decided the hierarchy in the classroom. The high rankers were treated like demigods, and sitting with a high ranker was a great thing, for it meant you were nearly as good as them. Talking to such guys gave you importance and influence in dealings with other people. The topper in my batch, who managed to ace the JEE, was always crowded with guys trying to be like him, me being one of them. The greatness in the guy was that he didn't care one bit about attention, nor did he ignore anyone's request to solve a problem. He tried to explain as much as possible and tried to clear everyone's doubts. Regardless of how good you are, never forget your humility.

One thing that distracted me a lot from my studies was competitions. I had read Robin Sharma's 'The monk who sold his Ferrari' and had tried to chalk out a plan, list of goals and a timetable of what and when I achieve my goals. I suggest you do it too. I did the same things for competitions. I chalked out a list of things I wanted to achieve. I also decided to prepare hard for each competition and not lose out in any place. I was after success and I wasn't going to leave it this time. The results were astonishing. I was able to win in different arenas (for all-rounders, I would suggest you focus on just 2 or 3 areas of interests and roll full steam, leave other fields as results can't be guaranteed in those) including debating, public speaking, science fairs, acting/drama etc. I was finally winning cash prizes and cups for my efforts and I liked it, although I wasn't winning as much as I wanted to. I would have gone on, but going for many competitions was putting a strain on my studies. I couldn't handle everything. My mom said that I was wasting valuable time that could be used for studies on something that was not of much importance now (I actually disagree completely now!!). I didn't dare say anything to my parents, for they had sacrificed things for me to get what I was getting. I respected their sacrifices, that's why I didn't say much. Participating in what I could was a big thing, and that much support from their side was a big thing for me. In any case, I continued those activities in college, as my parents felt I wouldn't get a chance again. One thing I realized was that the ability to turn situations around depends on us. How I perceived a task decided how I prepared for it which in turn decided how well I did it. We define our own destinies and our choices make us who we are. That was Robin Sharma's biggest message to me, and I will always be indebted to him for his words. 

At the end of 11th, I came to a different conclusion. 11th can be a problem for anybody, me included. How you hold yourself together in the face of increasing pressure decides how good 11th can be. I realized that what is seen at face value shouldn't always be accepted as the real value. Don't judge a book by its cover. Assuming that I could handle school, coaching along with competitions was a mistake. I should have realized that priorities had to be made, otherwise success couldn't be achieved at any level. Your mental setup matters a lot in competitive exams and no matter how much your preparation is, your setup will finally determine the day for you. Another thing which is very important to note is that worrying about how your schoolmates or society views you will finally kill you, because the world likes to find tiny little imperfections and blow them up to full proportions. Don't give a damn about the world, else you shall end up spending your whole life living a life you shouldn't have lived. Don't dance to the whims of society, dance to the whims of your heart!! 

JEE was now one year away from now, and I didn't know where I was placed. 12th was to start early to accomodate the preboards and revision time. All I knew was that I had to put in more efforts into both CBSE and JEE preparation. I couldn't lose it, I had to do something big. I decided to triple my efforts for next year and increase my percentage at coaching and school. I decided to forget about all stereotypes and schoolmates and simply concentrate on what I had done best till this year: academics. But what really happened in 12th was one hell of a roller coaster ride. Never have I experienced such a variation in my surroundings, my moods, my goals and probably everything in my immediate world. Never has there been a more topsy turvy story I have ever seen. 12th was probably a very big adventure for me, and the multitude of events that happened were so fast, that I still can't understand how I survived it. It nearly broke me, yet it brought me back to the skies. My 12th standard is the craziest year out of all the years I have spent, and recounting it reminds of the most invaluable lessons I have learned in life. To read what happened, stay tuned for the next part of the engineer's life, the final part and most crucial part in this series..............

The first few drops in the ocean --- Part IV

Never give up on what you want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than those who have only facts.

- Albert Einstein

The first few drops in the ocean --- Part II

I'm back with a piece of my life, all in exchange for 10 minutes of your time. If you read the last post, thank you for reading it and waiting for this post. Feel free to comment on anything --- beautiful yet pathetic, smart yet rude, thought provoking yet boring --- all comments are entertained. If this is your first time on my blog, I would suggest you read the preceding posts to understand my personality well. The fact is that I can be a really boring guy to listen to, if your thought process is radically different (mostly guys who are all-rounders or who have great grasping power tend to stay away from such posts). But this post is not for them, or atleast is not meant to satisfy their expectations. The people who really are interested in my posts, are usually those who have been just like me, who have struggled their whole lives, and want to taste success in its greatest sizes. They will love to remember the minor details of every success, and in these small things, they greatest of happiness can be experienced and felt. Let's get back to where we left off last time, my 10th standard, the second year of struggle, a year which had many forgettable and unforgettable moments.

Year II: 10th standard (2010-11)
This is for all 10th graders and below to read (actually a mustread!!). If you don't qualify, then you can still read and you could probably enjoy comparing your 10th grade experiences with mine!! If this is the first post that you're reading on my blog, it is suggested that you read my previous posts to decide on whether you would want to continue reading future posts.

It was a year, which was not exactly memorable, but telling the story makes me feel relieved that I ended that year on a happy note. I grew up, mentally and physically, and learned to adapt to my environment and the people around me. I was a complete introvert until I came to 10th. I realized that I had to mind what others thought of me, otherwise it would be difficult to socialize, or possibly even exist. 10th tested me on all levels, and the failures that came along taught me a great deal, some bad things included. Dealing with those was a problem of course, a problem which took 3 years to resolve. In any case, I had other big problems to deal with, and the starting of that academic year presented me with the biggest shock of the year.

Generally, the first day of school goes in allocation of classes to all students in a particular grade. Students never wanted to leave friends made in previous classes, and used to shout in ecstasy if the same happened. I was usually placed in the same class, the 'F' section, filled with lots of guys I had known from 7th, and whom I liked to be with. Thing was, this year it was different. The school management was gearing up for the new curriculum of examination that the government had just instated: CCE. No one knew what the system was going to be like because ours was the first batch. We were usually the first batch to suffer from any changes made in the educational system, so we were nicknamed 'the guinea pigs'. In any case, there was something about gradepoints and extracurriculars in the new system, and the management wanted any student who didn't study well or wasn't good at extras, to be made good. HOW??? By forcibly shifting them into a mainstream of students, who had what I didn't have. In reverse, my good academics would somehow boost the overall performance of the class I went to. What they decided was that the 'E' section lacked academics and was notorious for their pranks played (one involved playing with coke bottles inside the classroom and breaking the door and fans). So, thinking of me as a 'stabilizer', they pushed me into the worst section of that academic year, and probably in my student career. 

I wouldn't have minded it so much, if the 3 biggest bullies weren't sitting in my class. One guy was very special and I still remember his bullying till this date. One of the worst things about being in the same class as him, was that, whatever he did, nobody, neither a student nor teacher would dare to punish or even shout at him. REASON: He happened to be the eldest son of one of the trustees on the board of management. The trustee's father was the owner of the school and a Rajya Sabha member. No one dared to annoy them. These several factors were more than enough to demoralize me, and I decided to wait out this entire year. Unfortunately, he found me and never left a single instance to try and humiliate me. Any time the teacher favoured me or appreciated what I did, he tried to counteract what I was doing and insulted me in front of the class. Once he saw me praying just before a test. He started arguing with the teacher, as to why I should display my religious feelings about god and why the teacher never stopped me from doing so. He tried to throw things at me, hurt me by any means possible and steal my stuff. I guess the help of the teachers in such situations was a God blessing, and I take this opportunity to thank all my friends and teachers who helped me recover from these traumatic episodes.

A good part of my time was spent trying to learn football. I had become interested in the game and wanted to learn to play it. Sadly, I happened to be in a class filled with footballers, who had so much more experience and were on the school team. Naturally, any game played involved only such guys, and people like me were left out to warm the benches. I was a complete introvert and didn't know how to fight for something, even if I deserved it, unless it was handed over to me, leave alone fighting for something that I didn't deserve. So I resigned myself to thinking that I was never going to be able to play. However, one day, many guys didn't come to school, and we had a games period. It was rare for us to get such a period, as the notoriety level of the class meant that we got punished for almost all periods. So we tried to make maximum use of the time. One of the teams needed a goalkeeper. There was no one else left, so the captain reluctantly chose me. I did a decent job, I guess, for the saves weren't easy for a guy with 0 experience. I guess I was crossing the line. The next time, the ball went over the goalpost. I had to retrieve the ball to kick it back inside. I was in a hurry, so as to not disappoint anyone. I ran and tried to jump across the ledge separating the field from the neighbouring school. In my attempt, I slipped and hit my head against an open drain, which left a huge gash on my head. I was bleeding profusely, so the good guys in the class picked me up and took me to the infirmary, where the nurse said that I had to be taken to a hospital for immediate surgery. My mom was called to Apolo and by the end of the night, had to write a cheque worth rs 20,000 to have that gash in my head stitched up. It was pretty deep and required hundreds of stitches to hold it in place. The only good result of that fall was the scar. When the surgery was going on, the doctor asked me if I was a Harry Potter fan. I told him that I was the biggest one alive. So he did a technique of suturing, known commonly as z-plasty, which resulted in me getting a Harry Potter like scar. People started taking notice of me, atleast the scar. With the huge bandaid on my head for 3 weeks, I looked like a war hero coming back from Vietnam. I still recounting the story to anyone who asks, and it increased my importance in school for some time.

Competitions were to be shunned, as my mom said that 10th was an important class and I couldn't afford to mess up my grades, however lenient the system. So I followed the path set out by my mom, and did was in my mom's interests, for my mom usually was right. I went for a single quiz that year, and failed again, thus increasing the importance of time spent for studying. I participated in a school debate, and lost miserably. However, that thought me a lot about public speaking, about how to organize myself in public and how to defend a wrong or meaningless statement. I was also selected for an international exchange program with a school in germany, but my mom said that I shouldn't waste time on such unnecessary "exhibitions". Any other competition I went for was a failure, and this demoralized me. It only told me to stop wasting time on competitions. One thing that I did do that I liked a lot, was to lend my voice as the principal narrator for the school's play in that year's annual day. It was an exciting experience, working in a studio, and it really gave me happiness listening to my own voice on tape at the annual day.

Since this year was dedicated to studies, I decided to work on 2 things: my studies at school and those for the JEE. Valhala was still 3 years away, and I didn't want to lose steam. So I joined a new coaching center (the old one didn't offer anything for 10th standard) which had a classroom dedicated for the JEE training program. Actually, no one was interested in taking the 10th coaching, so I got in easily. There were only 10 guys in the class, of which only 2 (me included!) were regular. I was fully devoted to this coaching, because I had a lot of spare time, and I was determined to win the respect of my classmates. I remember standing in the overcrowded buses to reach class on time and come back home. The determination to win was so much that I was willing to face the cold weather, the hot afternoons and even the heavy showers to ensure I didn't miss a class. Everyone, my school and coaching center classmates, thought that I was good at academics, and told me to diversify, to do interesting things. I refused to listen to such random advice, and many times, regret my decisions. However, in the arena of competitive exams like olympiads, I was an ace. I secured a couple of medals in national and international level olympiads. These stats gave me and my parents the belief that I could get into the final abode of India's most esteemed engineers: IIT.

Two horrible habits that I got into in the 10th were solely due to the bad company that I had in that class. I will always consider them to be the sole culprits for the fall in my level of discipline. The first most disastrous thing that occurred was that I started lying. To almost everyone, my teachers, my friends, in rare cases my relatives. Of course, with really good and near ones, I lied only to hide the atrocities that I was facing everyday at school. Still a lie is a lie, and everytime since, I have tried to crush my temptation to lie. The second bad thing to happen to me was Youtube. I learned that Youtube was home to videos of all types. You just searched a bit and you'd get videos that can make any teenager boy go crazy. So I went full into watching such shit. At the end of such sessions, my head would ache and I would become a lesser human, more savage with each night. I was unsuccessful in stopping this while in the 10th. However, in the 11th, I reasoned out things with myself. I had prayer sessions with God, in which I understood that my goal was something completely different, of a higher order, of such great importance that I had to achieve those greater goals for the betterment of mankind. The shit that today's media has done to us, had to be undone, for it was distracting us from our real goals in life. It was killing souls and ambitions. I didn't want to be a victim, so I moved on fast and started thinking more about a famous phrase: Simple living, High thinking.

By the end of the midterm, I went to see my dad in the gulf. I had lived abroad for so long, that I couldn't forget about the comforts and friends given there. So I really liked to be back there. Earlier that year, my family had shifted into our own, permanent house, which was a relief, as the old house was getting too bad to live in. The change to a more open, sun-filled apartment, brought a lot my positivity and inspiration, and gave me the courage to take all the negativity surrounding me at school. You all should try this: every morning, get up at around 5AM, and just breathe in and out properly for 10 minutes. Go outside into your balcony at 7AM and feel the warm rays of the sun fall on you. It gives you a surge that is so powerful and energizing. This contradicts with the fact that I used to sleep at 4AM, but that is a mistake that I used to do, which is not at all recommended. Get some sunshine, it can really make your day.

One amazing thing about this year was that at the end of the year, the entire class and teachers acknowledged my brilliance and perfectionism. They signed off on a good note, with a meeting at a nearby mall to conclude the year. The graduation day of class 10 wasn't spectacular, but was worth remembering. I slowly started growing out of my shell and people acknowledged my efforts. Most importantly, the year ended on a high. In january, there were admission tests to major coaching institutes for the 2 most crucial years of our lives, the 2 years to be used for preparation for the IITJEE. I didn't prepare for any test. I felt that my 10th standard knowledge was enough to get me in. I wrote all tests. In one test, 5 minutes before the test, I got worried as to why I was not feeling serious or nervous about the test. Nevertheless, I sat for the 3 hours, and completed the paper. I didn't know what to tell my parents, but my mom knew that I was getting in. I didn't know for sure. The day the results came out, I was very tense. Then an sms came saying that I had been selected to join that institute. I was very happy of course, although I was in 2 minds. Another institute was also offering a 15K scholarship, which sounded more attractive than paying 70K a year. In any case, I told my mom and she wasn't surprised nor happy with the result. But in the evening, a counsellor from the first institute called us and congratulated me, for I had stood 4th in the entrance test!!! Moreover, it was a 50% scholarship and I was 4th out of 500 odd people. The scholarship didn't matter, what mattered was the rank. The amount of excitement in the house reached a new high, and mom proudly told all her friends about my achievement. Everyone thought I was already in IIT!!!!

Another great thing to happy was the board exams. I managed to ace the exams, with rigourous effort (now thinking, I didn't need to work so much) and determination. I worked to produce spic and span assignments and earned a top grade in every subject. I scored a 10 CGPA and got certificates from Sahodaya and CBSE. I was proud of my result and happy that I had clinched a good institute. I applied to enter school again for 11th and 12th, and I clearly knew my goals. To celebrate my success, we decided to go to Malaysia and Singapore, to visit my cousin and also get myself a well deserved vacation. It was a good thing to take a vacation as it really relaxed my mind and allowed me to sit with full concentration for the next 2 years. 

For guys looking at what should be done during 10th and 9th, I'd say that you should get extracurricular talents during these 2 years. Getting a 10 in CBSE is really a 1 month job, and doesn't require as much effort as I put in. Get into competitions and start winning, so that applying to international universities next year will be easier.  If you get a scholarship abroad, it is better to take it, than go for an Indian institute. But for those who are trying to beat the crowd and get into the IITs, NITs, BITS etc., I will tell you this. Starting IIT preparation so early is recommended only if you want to win olympiad medals or attempt the JEE early or if you want to study above the syllabus (I don't know when you're reading this, but in my time CBSE had next to nothing in the syllabus). It is better to start preparation in 11th. Don't lose your life's precious years trying to crack these competitive exams. Doing any preparation before 11th is just going to take away important years from your life. Don't think that going to a coaching institute will boost your CBSE scores, that's a random falsity that has been passed down for so long. Concentrate on what you really love and start following it young. Enjoy life (not leaving yourself lazy) and focus on computer skills, electronics, mechanics, videogaming (playing and creating), dancing, singing, acting, writing international papers, going for MUNs etc. In the professional world, no one gives a damn about your  results in the JEE, AIEEE, BITSAT or any other competitive exam you may write. Nowadays, they don't care about college CGPAs. All they care about is whether you have the ideas and practical understanding to do the job. Nothing less, nothing more. The higher you want to reach in the corporate world, the faster you should start working on the things that you're passionate about. The biggest regret that I have is that I didn't start working earlier on my passion and interests. Don't have the same regret. 

My next post will be on my 11th standard, a very traumatic yet exciting year. In this year, I opened up completely and learnt a lot about society's expectations from me. I made very big decisions, and those decisions moulded my future and changed my success rates in different fields on different levels. You will come face to face with some of my problems sooner or later while preparing for competitive exams yourself. The next 2 years gave me many lessons which I still remember and try to use effectively in my daily life. They are crucial for all people trying to get into any Indian institute. And I will be taking you through a full view of my challenges. Give me 10 minutes of your time and wait for my next post.......... 
The first few drops in the ocean --- Part III

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination.
Tommy Lasorda